I missed last week from sheer craziness. Then this little gem popped up in my email and I said, “Ah ha! Perfect to share with my friends on MMLM.”
Warning…the humor is a little, shall we say, *colorful* so you may want to shield impressionable minds from this particular post.
And don’t forget to bebop on over to Jenny on the Spot where all this silliness begins.
Now for our story…
Grandpa is summoned to IRS for an audit. He brings his lawyer along.
Auditor: Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no
full-time employment which you explain by saying that you win money
gambling. I’m not sure the IRS believes that explanation.
Grandpa: I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it. How about
Auditor: Sure. Go ahead.
Grandpa: I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.
Auditor: You’re on.
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor’s jaw drops.
Grandpa: Now, I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.
Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn’t blind, so he takes the bet.
Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor
now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand with Grandpa’s
attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
Grandpa: Want to go double or nothing? I’ll bet you six grand that I can
stand on one side of your desk and pee into that wastebasket on the other side
without spilling a drop.
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now. He decides, however,
there’s no way this old guy could possibly manage this stunt. So
he agrees a final time.
Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants. Though he
strains mightily there’s no way he can reach the wastebasket.
Instead he urinates all over the auditor’s desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major
loss into a huge win.
Grandpa’s attorney, on the other hand, is groaning in pain with his head in his hands.
Auditor: Are you okay?
Attorney: Not really. This morning, when Grandpa told me he’d been summoned
for an audit he bet me twenty five grand that he could come in here and pee all over your
desk and that you’d be happy about it!
See, it’s this kind of creative thinking that’s going to get America back on her financial feet! Now get out there and make thing happen people. Oh yes, and have fun while you’re at it.